Just a bad day....

Sitting here on this cold dark day...

Baby is finally asleep..and I have my half gallon of Cookies and Cream Ice Cream.

We didn't get the house, and to top it off, we keep getting a run around about when we will get our 500 deposit back.

God...When is it my turn?

Yes Lord I hear you..

No one has a MollyJean, TJ, nor a Tim.

But you took Buster Brown so can I have something in replace??

NO NO..not those crazy muts Maggie and Maezie..that doesn't count.

Please lord...I cried today, I need a sign to show me this is where we should be. That my 40 hours a week in a studio and without my family is really worth it.

Everyday goes by without them and it sends me seconds closer to a life without them.

I'm tired..exhausted really.

My blood pressure is high from the stress of everyday, bills, babysitters, bills, bills bills...

I'm miserable to everyone around me because I'm forgetting to see the positive.

I miss my husband right now, I miss my Matty...I miss my mother, sister and most of all Buster. My stomach hurts from the pain that lingers in my mind from the mind exhaustion. I sat next to the toilet last night nearly vomiting from the depression setting in. I know my angels are here, I just think there sleeping or maybe on vacation. I need some words of wisdom. Some lump some of money to fall from the sky. Buster to look at me and walk away. My best friend to hug me tight. And Molly to stop acting like shes two...

Sorry for anyone reading this who might be having a better day.